gatsby (a poem)

I hate you and love you

like I hate and love myself.

just look at this mess we’ve made. 

we went out in a boat

I rowed and you watched the green sky

beating, against the current,

against against against—

just look at this mess we’ve made,

Daisy,

my Daisy Fay

just look just look and then you’ll see

I can’t do without you, you see.

I killed Jimmy

I made Gatsby Gatsbier for you,

and now, and now—

well.

beating against the current still, are we?

slowly slowly slowly

wildly

the green sky and the green sea are all calling

quietly

your name.

a poem by e.e. cummings

love is more thicker than forget

by e.e. cummings

love is more thicker than forget

more thinner than recall

more seldom than a wave is wet

more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly

and less it shall unbe

than all the sea which only

is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win

less never than alive

less bigger than the least begin

less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly

and more it cannot die

than all the sky which only

is higher than the sky

main character

we assume we’re the main characters of our own stories.

we are, after all, the centre of everything we experience. and everyone has a story.

we don’t know it any other way.

but then something happens that makes us wonder

if we’re like nick carraway,

the sidekick in someone else’s fairytale.

what are we, really?

word weird: autumn

* derived from the latin autumnus and possibly the ancient etruscan root autu-, which means the passing of the year. 

* was used as the old french autompne (automne in modern french and autumpne in middle english) before it was normalised into the original latin

* before the 16th century, harvest was used to refer to the season 

* the word backend, once a common way to refer to the season, has been replaced by autumn

* the alternative word, fall, coming from the old english fiaell or feallen and the old norse fall, means to "fall from a height" and also is related to phrases like "fall of a leaf" and "fall of the year"

* in poetry, autumn is often associated with melancholia (as in Yeats's poem the wild swans at coole and Keats's to autumn)

* since 1997, Autumn is one of the top 100 names for girls in the united states

some poetry

 

eighteen

ages are funny things. to think that

you’ve existed for longer than someone

and shorter than someone else—

isn’t that strange?

and some of them have meanings.

you, for instance. you’re eighteen. what does that mean?

nothing. everything.

a child in someone’s mind and a grown-up in someone else’s.

you “turn eighteen” (what does that even mean? it’s like it’s the turn of a century)

and you become the same but different.

you’re a man now, child,

in the eyes of the world. you’re not a “minor” anymore. you’re a “major”.

a full-fledged human. congratulations, you actually exist now.

but what you did before, isn’t that important too?

ages are funny things. some people say they matter, but do they?

you don’t seem so different to me.

headache

thud.

thud.

thud.

there’s a small creature inside my head

it’s knocking at my skull with its teeth.

thud.

go away, small creature, you’re hurting me

i can’t possibly do anything

with you inside my head.

thud.

thud.

shut up, small creature, nobody cares about you.

thud.

“leave me my name.” - john proctor, the crucible

fool.

you want my name?

i have given you my soul.

sure, you can have my name,

once you’ve pried it from my cold, dead hands.

i have given you my soul. leave me my name.

colours

 her favourite colours change with the seasons.

in spring it’s green, brilliant grass green, like the leaves on roses and the moss growing gently on bushy-topped trees. it’s white, like daffodils and fuzzy dandelions, scattering their petals on the wind. it’s purple, soft lilac purple, like the early sunrise and gentle lavender always smiling. it’s pink, like the cherry blossoms waving in the quiet wind.

in summer it’s blue. stunning, piercing blue like the ocean casting itself on the shore, like the sky in the middle of a warm summer day. it’s yellow, like hibiscus flowers and tan like the soft sand lining the beach.

in autumn it’s orange like pumpkin spice, like soft candlelight in the dark and a fire warming the corner of a home. it’s brilliant red, like a forest lined with the leaves falling from bare trees. it’s brown, like the pages of a well-loved book, like nutmeg, like oatmeal that warms your mouth or the tang of coffee or the soft hug of cinnamon tea. 

in winter it’s red. bright, passionate red like the stripes on a candy cane or a red rose lying against the snow. it’s white, like snowflakes falling, like the lights on a christmas tree, like marshmallows sitting in a piping hot mug of cocoa. it’s cream, like a well-worn sweater or a fuzzy scarf that keeps away the cold. it’s army green, like a christmas tree that’s just been cut, like the smell of pine wafting through the air.

child

Everybody’s got to grow up sometime.

It comes on you gradually, 

a creeping shadow, a leaf in the wind.

And there comes a point when you say, like you always say,

“I’m not a child anymore,”

But you don’t really mean it. 

Not anymore. 

You begin to miss it - those flights of fancy, fighting dragons,

meeting the love of your life in a gold-tinged dream. 

Not everything’s so easy now.

There is good. Of course there is. But you feel her,

that little girl you used to be, slowly fading.

Becoming glass.

There are responsibilities now. 

It hurts sometimes, being too old for Narnia.

But there are bits of Narnia here, too.

ice cream summer

chocolate is the end of a performance, late-night rebellion, a victory dance.

mango is the sweet taste of beginnings, of hot summer evenings, of friendship.

strawberry is reflection, eating ice cream late at night and missing all the things that won’t ever happen again.

pineapple is bittersweet. the knowledge that good things are ending and others are starting. the tang of goodbyes and hellos and i’ll-miss-you’s and i-love-you’s. when will i see you again?

a contrapuntal poem

                             

                                                                            gertrude          claudius

i love          you

you          are mine

forever and          always.

when i look at you          in the silence of dreams

i see who you used to be.          it’s you, you,

the man          i love

not the monster,        only ever

      you.