main character

we assume we’re the main characters of our own stories.

we are, after all, the centre of everything we experience. and everyone has a story.

we don’t know it any other way.

but then something happens that makes us wonder

if we’re like nick carraway,

the sidekick in someone else’s fairytale.

what are we, really?

thoughts on endings

 “i'll come back when you call me / no need to say goodbye."

    this year i'm a senior. it's difficult, saying goodbye to the things i've known for four years, but i'm also excited for what comes next. i don't want to say goodbye, though. i don't want to leave these people, these places behind. 

    i've still got time. i'm just not ready.

trials of various kinds

“count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” - james 1:2-4

    would that this were easier! it’s so hard to keep going sometimes. and i tell myself, hey, it’s gonna be okay, because i know it will be. eventually, it will be. but right now doesn’t feel okay. right now feels like God help me i’m struggling help help help—

    and i just remember sitting in a treehouse not so long ago, reading about frodo and sam and the trials they faced. and sometimes i wish i had their courage. 

    to endure.

    to keep going.

    because why would you stop whilst you’re in the fire? keep going. God’s always with you.

    (it’s gonna be okay, i tell myself. it is going to be okay.)

the child i used to be

sometimes i miss 

the child i used to be. 

yes, i was alone

and yes, i was naïve, 

but i didn’t care.

i didn’t care

what others thought, 

what they thought of me 

or who i was. 

i just was.

i was innocent.

trusting.

pure in heart.

i miss her, that little girl

who saw the world

so clearly

but herself

saw not at all.